Some people are more naturally inclined toward polyamory, while some also fall somewhere in between. If you’re currently in a fulfilling relationship, but you’re thinking about bringing someone else into your relationship, it’s important that you know how to do so. Here are the most important things to understand about the polyamory process.
1. Learn the Facts About Monogamy and Polyamory
Over the years, people have written plenty about whether humans are naturally monogamous or polyamorous. It appears that some people may feel more comfortable with monogamy, while some may be more comfortable with polyamory – perhaps humans as a whole are neither monogamous nor polyamorous, but instead both.
Either way, it’s important to remember that neither is inherently more or less moral or normal than the other. Instead, you just need to make sure you’re doing it in a healthy way. Whether you choose monogamy or polyamory for yourself, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to do it, and that’s what’s important to remember.
2. Understand What You Want From Polyamory
Before you even consider bringing someone into your relationship, you need to know why you want that to happen. There are many, many ways you can practice polyamory, especially when you open up your relationship when you’re already in a long-term relationship. Here are a few of the relationships you might have in your polyamory arrangement:- A second serious relationship
- A short-term dating relationship
- A single long-term sexual partner
- Multiple long-term sexual partners
- Multiple short-term sexual partners
You should also decide other elements of your ideal polyamorous relationship. That includes what gender your preferred partner would be, whether you and your partner would share partners, and even elements like whether you’re interested in a BDSM power differential relationship or a more “vanilla” relationship.
Different people will want different things from polyamory, and it’s one of the reasons it can be difficult to discuss. Understanding what you want early on in the process will help these discussions move a little more easily.
3. Sit Down and Have a Serious Discussion About What You’re Interested In
This can be one of the most difficult parts of the process. Ideally, you want to broach the topic of polyamory before you actually have the conversation about what you’re interested in. That way, you’ll be able to discern whether your partner is open to polyamory or even possibly thinking about broaching the topic with you as well.
Once it’s time for the actual conversation, make sure your partner is allowed to share their opinions just as freely as you are. If your partner is uncomfortable with the idea, make sure they’re able to talk about why they’re uncomfortable and what might make them more comfortable. Set your own hard limits, but respect that your partner will have hard limits as well, and you need to respect those limits.
4. Keep Communicating Throughout the Process
The polyamory experience is one of constant communication. If you’re going to have a romantic or sexual relationship with more than one person, you need to make sure each person you’re with is aware of your current boundaries. You also need to make sure every person you’re involved with is able to talk to you if their boundaries change.
Communication isn’t about that one introductory conversation. It’s about having an openness to conversations at all times. That’s the only way you and all your sexual partners will be able to feel comfortable with whatever relationship dynamic you end up settling on.
5. Make Sure You Maintain Safety for All Partners
Safety should be one of your foremost concerns for every partner you’re with. Of course, STD and STI safety will be one of the most important things to ensure. Either have your partners bring their own STI tests or use condoms every time you’re with someone who isn’t your current primary partner. That way, you’ll avoid passing STDs or STIs to other partners.
Additionally, if you’re going to use sex toys, make sure you do it safely. One option is to use disposable sex toys with hookup partners, so you can discard them once you’re done. If you enjoy reusable toys like the King Cock 6 inch Double Penetrator, you can cover them with condoms or only use them with your primary partner.
Conclusion
It’s possible to experience polyamory in a healthy way, but you have to do it intentionally. No one accidentally stumbles into a healthy polyamorous relationship. To start a polyamorous relationship, you need to sit down, talk to your partner, and always keep communicating.
