how to use a strap on

You’ve heard whispers about their power. You’ve looked at pictures, wondering how they even work and how they must feel. You’ve even seen them in action in your favorite pornos. Now, you’re here, looking for advice on finding and using the right strap-on.

And we’re happy to help! Believe us, we are all about showing you all the different ways you can please your partners - and, of course, yourself. A lot of things are “our thing,” and strap-ons are totally “our thing” as well. Who wouldn’t love that power trip you feel when you step into the bedroom, your dildo lubed and harnessed, and see the surprise on the face of your soon-to-be conquest?

Ah, but you’re reading this because you’re not letting that enthusiasm blind you. You may be inexperienced in the ways of the strap-on, but you know that if you’re looking for your new favorite sex toy, you have to know what you want. That’s responsible and rad, and that’s why we’ve got this guide.

Finding the Strap-On for You

The Harness

A strap-on without a harness is just you holding a dildo in your hand. That can be fun too, but it’s not at all the same experience! It’s the harness that keeps the toy in place while you’re pounding away.

You’ll want something that’s high-quality and flexible, for maximum movement, maximum comfort, and maximum enjoyment. Find something that fits your hips and make sure to check how much you can adjust the harness.

Harnesses come in different shapes and styles. Jockstrap harnesses strap around your thighs, while thong and g-string harnesses look and fit the way the name implies. Other strap-ons can be put on like regular underwear (but, you know, with a fake dick attached), without the need for buckles or straps. There are even strap-ons that attach to your chin and others that are specially designed for double penetration. It’s time to get creative!

One last thing to consider: some strap-ons come with a hole, so your own parts can join in the fun. You can pleasure yourself while pleasuring your partner, or they can return the favor as you stimulate each other. You can even find strap-ons that can double the fun by letting you use double-sided dildos.

The Dildo

A harness by itself isn’t really a strap-on (it’s more like an exotic pair of undies). To complete the set, you need the thing that’ll actually let you penetrate and peg your partner: a dildo. Many harnesses come with one already attached or as part of kit, but plenty of them let you switch them out so you can use your personal toys.

girl dominating guy with a strap on

But before you make a monster strap-on with a magnum dong, you need to think about what your buddy wants. If they’re not used to taking massive dicks or dildos, be considerate and get something smaller (but not too small!). You should also start thin if you’ve never stuck it to someone before. That’ll help you ease into things as you practice penetration. This is strongly recommended if your plans include anal.

If your harness of choice lets you use your dildo of choice, you’ve gotta check if your pocket rocket even fits. For example, it might not fit in the harness’ “O-ring” if it doesn’t have a flared base. Other harnesses are so specialized that the toy they come packed with can’t even be removed.

Make sure the packaging for the dildo states that it’s “body-safe” - otherwise, it might be the kind that releases phthalates, a kind of chemical that you don’t want in your body. Oh, and don’t forget to pick up some water-based lube. Your partner will thank you between moans and screams.

Strapless Strap-Ons

Finally, for the more adventurous among us, there are strapless strap-ons. We know, it sounds counter-intuitive at first, but trust us that these bad boys are fun. They make use of a woman’s vagina instead of a harness, filling it with one side of the strap-on. The other side is standing at attention and ready to please your partner.

Strapless strap-ons aren’t going to be your choice for the first time pegging someone, but they’re a great way to introduce some spice into a long-term, kink-friendly relationship!

Using Strap-Ons the Right Way

Once you get the strap-on that fits your needs, you need to learn how to fit it into someone. You can’t just shove your way inside like a battering ram, especially if you’re aiming at the anus. Here’s some advice for how to use the strap-on so that it’s all pleasure and no pain (or at least, only the kind of pain you and your partner like!).

Prepping for Sex

First, if your body’s not used to having a weighty appendage sticking out from your groin, you’re gonna need to get used to having one. Walk around in it, sit down with it, even masturbate while wearing it. Once you’ve got a feel for it, you’ll be ready to use it the way it’s meant to be used. You know the corny proverb that to score in the ballpark, you have to “be the ball?” If you wanna score in the bedroom with a strap-on, you’ve gotta be the balls.

how to find the right strap on

Lube, lube, lube. You can’t have too much of it. Even when you think you’ve got too much of it on the dildo, apply some more anyway. This is crucial for pegging: pussies can get wet but assholes can’t. There’s a right and wrong way to mix pain with your pleasure, and anal friction is definitely the wrong way. Even if you’re partying out front, lube still helps you slide inside and puts your partner at ease.

The most basic way to bring all this is to life and fuck by the Golden Rule: screw others as you would want them to screw you. Imagine that you’re on the other end - and hey, maybe you want to be on that end sometime. How would you want someone with a strap-on to treat you? Even if your preferences are different from your fuck buddy’s, you should commit to keeping them feeling comfy.

The Sex Itself

If this is your first time, start soft and slow. Whether you’re penetrating their pussy or playing with their prostate, preventing pain while pleasuring your partner is one of your primary responsibilities. Don’t just pound on your first impulse - pace yourself and practice with some preliminary probing. Once you’re both feeling comfortable, you can start prodding, then pushing, then pumping with passion.

Like with any good fuck session, this means communication with your lover is a must. That means listening to them not just when they want you to go harder, but when they ask you to slow down. That means letting them know if you want to shift your position. That also means making sure that they’re cool with doing this at all before you start. This might not sound all that sexy, but you do it precisely because you can create the sexiest possible experience for you and your boo.

Lastly, if we’re being honest, finding the right position will take some trial and error. When you get to the errors - and trust me, every first-timer gets there - you and your partner just need to keep a sense of humor and keep on trying. You’re both already trying something new, so why not take this as a chance to experiment with all kinds of positions?

What matters, more than anything, is that you try and have fun with it. And if you’re fucking someone you care about and who cares about you back, the strap-on is a great tool for a good time.

If you’re down for getting a toy that makes sharing fun, check out our diverse selection of strap-ons and strap-on-friendly dildos!

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