So much for summer love – or is it? The highly contagious COVID-19 caused by the novel coronavirus has put a dent in many plans – vacations canceled, weddings postponed, and dating? Forget it. Unfortunately, if you aren’t laying low with someone you can have sex with, relying on Tinder or going to clubs isn’t an option anymore. Virtual dating is seeing a big boom, with people going on “Zoom dates,” and there might even be something romantic about getting to know someone from afar, building anticipation as you get to know each other. But at some point, you’re bound to get horny.
Staying home and avoiding social contact is the number one way to reduce risk. But as epidemiologist Julia Marcus explained in an article in The Atlantic, an abstinence-only caution is setting people up for failure. People need to have pleasure, and they’re going to find a way to have sex. Instead of an unrealistic admonishment, public health officials are attempting to reduce harm by educating people on how to minimize risk while engaged in pleasurable activities.
Recently, the New York City Health Department issued guidelines on how to reduce harm and have safer sex. The folks at HUSTLER Hollywood are not health professionals, but they are indeed pleasure professionals. This guide will reiterate the main points of public health guidance on how to have sex safely, and how to make the most of it to ensure that even if hooking up looks and feels a little different than before, you can make it work for you.
Get Down With Your Bad Self
You are your safest sex partner. No sex is 100% risk-free. Anytime you engage in contact with someone else’s fluids, be it semen, blood, urine, or saliva, you run the risk of picking something up, whether it’s a sexually transmitted infection, pregnancy, and now COVID-19. Masturbation is the best risk-free avenue for pleasure without worry. Treat yourself and make it more special than usual by ordering yourself a new toy. Spice things up in the self-love department with a new masturbation sleeve or a new vibrator. If you’re stuck in a rut, try something you don’t usually do for orgasms, like anal play or using a doll! It’s okay to try new things. It’ll keep the sexual boredom at bay to push your own limits with someone you feel safe and comfortable with — yourself.
Digital Get-Down
Have fun with virtual sex! If you’ve been going on Zoom dates for a minute, or have a sex buddy who lives far away, kick it up to the next level. Plan a sexy Skype session. Grab a basket of toys, dress up in your sexiest little outfit, and take turns showing each other how you’d like to be touched by them when it’s safe to do so.
Although there’s no physical risk, make sure you trust the person to avoid keeping records of your sexts or racy photos without your consent. This is an unfortunate consideration one must take into account, but it is more difficult to get to know people’s true characters when you’re meeting and chatting online. Use apps like Snapchat and Signal to tease your virtual lover, and ensure they’re erased from both users’ devices once seen.
A Sexy Social Contract
Responsible people who are having sex outside of monogamous relationships (read: multiple partners) get tested for STIs often, and we need to normalize asking potential partners about their health status before we get in bed with them. Just as you’d ask a partner if they’d been tested for STIs lately, if you’re going to meet up to have sex, there’s no shame in asking if they’ve been tested for COVID-19. The availability of tests varies from region to region, so this isn’t a possibility for everyone, but if you’re lucky enough to live in a place where testing is widely available and accessible, it’s smart to take accountability and get tested, avoid all social contact while you wait for results, and then meet up with your chosen partner.
The NYC Health Department recommends that you have as few sexual partners as possible and pick partners you trust. This could mean an arrangement where you pick one person outside your household to be your go-to hook-up buddy, agree to only see each other, and alert each other immediately if one of you displays symptoms.
Additionally, be aware that there is no evidence that test results showing the presence of antibodies means that you are immune. If you’ve had COVID-19 and have recovered, continue taking the recommended precautions outlined by the CDC. And if you or your partner is displaying symptoms of COVID-19, abort the mission. Do not have sex with anyone who is coughing, fatigued, feverish, or has a diminished sense of taste or smell.
When in doubt, shroud your spout
If you’re going to have sex with someone outside of your household,
- Keep sessions as short as possible. Prolonged exposure increases the likelihood of contracting the virus. Now’s the time to perfect the art of the quickie.
- No kissing. The virus spreads through contact with saliva, mucus, or breath of people with COVID-19, whether or not they’re displaying symptoms.
- Wear a mask. The CDC advises wearing a mask to slow the spread of COVID-19, and three Harvard physicians specifically stated that wearing a mask during sex will reduce the risk of exposure. Yes, it will seem a little weird at first, but have fun and get kinky with it! The person behind the mask could be anyone! Do some role-playing! Also, people have been playing with sensory deprivation forever — add an eye mask for an overwhelming sensual experience.
- Wash your hands before and after sex.
- Use a glory hole. The NYC Health Department literally advised citizens to “be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact.” We’re not saying to head to your nearest public restroom and put your mouth on the wall there. But maybe make one for your own home! Use sheets, furniture, doorways, even plastic wrap like so many creative rideshare drivers are doing. Add openings at strategic increments, and go to town.
- Do it doggy-style. Socially distance your faces as much as possible. Maybe a 69, maybe from behind, maybe side-by-side, or maybe the “scissor-straddle.” Anything where your heads are far apart will reduce the temptation to make out.
- Masturbate together. Six feet apart, windows open, masks on. Eye-fuck the heck out of each other while you bring yourselves to climax.
- No ATM. The virus has been found in feces and semen, so avoid ass-to-mouth activity, and use a condom anytime a penis goes near an orifice in order to prevent contact with semen. It is not yet confirmed that feces and semen actually transmit the virus, but best to err on the side of caution.
- Clean up after. No matter what goes down, use Lysol, alcohol, or any anti-viral cleaning agent to wipe down any surfaces your partner or their fluids may have come into contact with. Wash your sheets, hands and toys (again.).
