If you’ve been at all looking into BDSM, you have almost certainly heard about the two main components of BDSM: submission and domination. These are two common descriptions of the “D” and “S” in the acronym, and they’re core components in the world of BDSM. If you’ve started to think about incorporating submission into your sexual life, here’s what you need to know.
Submission: The Basics
If you’ve never learned much about submission, it’s good to start at the ground level. What are the basics of submission?
- What Is a Submissive?
A submissive is someone who enjoys submitting to another person in a sexual manner. Most frequently, they will look for a dominant, who enjoys having another person submit to them in a sexual manner. Submissives may be willing to submit in a variety of contexts and in a number of different ways.
- Why Might Someone Be a Submissive?
Submission can be enjoyable for a number of reasons. Some people use it to blow off steam – if they’re often in charge of important things in their lives, they may enjoy submitting to someone else in a sexual sense. Some people just prefer to have someone else giving them orders during a sexual experience. Some people also enjoy the sensation of submitting to another person.
- Who Can Be a Submissive?
Anyone can be a submissive. It doesn’t matter how dominant you seem outside of the bedroom; you may find comfort in submission for a variety of reasons. If you’re interested in submitting in a sexual sense, you can be a submissive.
Three Different Ways of Engaging in Submission
There are many different ways for you to engage in submission, and the different “types” of submission will impact how you prefer to engage with the concept. Here are three ways you might engage with submission in your personal life.
- Versatile Submissives
Someone who is “versatile” is someone who is neither exclusively submissive nor exclusively dominant. If you consider yourself versatile, you may be dominant at some times and submissive at some times, both dominant and submissive in a single sexual encounter, or dominant with some partners and submissive with some partners.
- Submissives in Bed
This is the most common way that submissive individuals start exploring the concept of submission. You will retain all the same relationship dynamics that you currently have, but in the bedroom, you may choose to be more submissive.
- 24/7 Submissives
This is a more intense way to enjoy submission. Rather than keeping the relationship dynamics that you may have had for many years, you can shift to a new relationship dynamic, where your partner is always the dominant one. This relationship dynamic can be very enjoyable for people who are prepared for it, but can be incredibly overwhelming for those who don’t. Avoid moving to a 24/7 submissive dynamic until you’ve done a lot of education and tried out part-time submission for some time.
Tips for Talking to Your Partner About Being Submissive
If you’re currently in a relationship that you want to turn into a D/S relationship, it’s important that you know how to talk to your partner about it. Here’s a general guide that you can use to make it easier for you to talk to a partner.
- Approach the Topic in a Non-Sexual Context
Don’t talk about this when you’re already engaged in a sexual context. Suddenly springing something new on a partner is a surefire way to make them uncomfortable and potentially reject something new just because it’s new. Instead, sit down together in a non-sexual context and talk a bit about this.
- Explain What You Want and What You’re Interested In
The first step is to cleanly explain what you want from your sexual relationship. Do you want something very intense? Do you just want light BDSM content in your sex life? Are you interested in eventually moving into something more serious? Explaining the specific things you’re interested in helps your partner understand what you want from this relationship.
- Address Any Concerns They Might Have and Keep the Communication Open
Once you explain what you want, you should let your partner respond to your request. This gives them space to bring up any issues they might have, any concerns they might be worried about, and anything else they want to talk to you about. Once you’ve addressed these things, you should proactively keep communication lines open, directly letting your partner know that they can ask about anything they want to at any point.
- Purchase Safe Products Before Trying Something New
If you are interested in trying something new, like collars, blindfolds, or paddles, it’s important that you buy safe products. Anything that isn’t made specifically for humans, like dog collars, can be dangerous, especially to someone who’s a beginner in this context. Instead of scraping together whatever you can, visit HUSTLER® Hollywood and pick out some safe bondage products.
Conclusion
Submission can be incredibly fulfilling for many individuals, and it’s an important part of sex for a number of people. If you’re interested in submission in your sex life, whether regularly or occasionally, you’re not alone. This guide can help you start using submission in your sex life on a regular basis.
