So you want to have an orgy?

Group sex, or throwing an “orgy,” is a very popular fantasy. But if you’re really daring and have a few adventurous acquaintances who are open-minded, there’s no reason you can’t make this fantasy a reality!

The word “orgy” itself lends itself to multiple interpretations. It could mean a group of partners having sex with only the partner they came with all in the same room. It could also mean a Dionysian suckfest with all participants eagerly exchanging fluids with anyone and everyone involved. It could start as the former and eventually bleed over into the latter. Before you send out invites, decide exactly what kind of party it’s going to be and be sure this is communicated to your invitees so they know what to expect. They’ll want to consider in advance what they’re agreeing to and how they will conduct themselves.

If you’re just looking to swing, you could always find a sex club to relieve some of the pressure of planning and organizing everything yourself. In fact, it’s a good idea to help you get into the state of mind and build some expectations about how people behave and interact in such a setting. But throwing an orgy at your own home can be ideal for people who love the idea of having a bit of control over the setting. By throwing an orgy, you get to choose the guest list and set the ambiance. However, with that kind of power comes great responsibility. By throwing an orgy, you have an obligation to maintain a safe, secure and sexy environment for your guests. By going to great lengths to ensure the orgy is successful and all guests behave properly, attendees will be able to truly throw themselves into the spirit of things and be eager to come back again.

Here’s how to do it right.

• Consider the guest list.
• Invite only people you trust. Only invite folks you know won’t gossip, record, pass judgment, or worse, make anyone feel awkward or uncomfortable. Keep it small to begin with. The fewer people involved, the easier the situation is to manage. 
• Invite people who you know are comfortable with their sexuality, open-minded about new experiences, and outgoing and personable. Don’t surprise anyone, of course. Before you invite them, conversations need to be had, such as, “Would you ever go to an orgy?” Likely, these are friends you’re very comfortable with and know well enough to broach these subjects without fear. If you’re too nervous about having the conversation, you’re likely going to be too nervous about being naked around them. 
• Explain to attendees that you’d love to welcome their guests only after meeting them and getting to know them a bit ahead of time. Feel out their vibe. If there’s any slight ringing of a warning bell, it’s a no.
• Invite only people you trust! 
• When you compose your invitation, make notes of any themes, rules or things to abide by. Don’t assume everyone has seen Eyes Wide Shut. Make notes like “Condoms mandatory!” and “Zero tolerance. Security will be enforced!” to let everyone know you mean business. More on safety and consent below. Send the invites privately and personally. 
• Have a solid safety plan

• Sober or very barely tipsy is best. Alcohol and drugs may blur people’s judgment and their perception of boundaries. Consider only serving lighter beverages like beer and seltzer or highly diluted cocktails to maintain a festive atmosphere and prevent anyone from getting too sloshed.
• No means no, and consent must be enthusiastic. No need to complicate the scene with safety words—“stop” and “no” must be sufficient here. Leave no room for confusion or ambiguity. The second someone hesitates, all involved need to back off. 
• In the invitation and before the event kicks off, outline the rules for asking for consent. “May I join?” or “May I watch?” should be the first phrase used by every participant. 
• All parties should wear condoms and use dental dams. 
• Take security seriously

• Consider hiring someone. Seriously. Have a plan to bounce anyone who’s making guests uncomfortable. Safe sex and consent are paramount. 
• Check all phones and recording equipment at the door. No one should be recording anything during an orgy for the privacy of all parties involved.
• Zero tolerance as far as consent.
• Establish a safety word with your security person. The second something seems off, give them a signal or a code word to intervene without question. If someone is behaving in an uncool way, your security guard should escort them out immediately.
• Prepare the House

• Supply your restroom with plenty of wet wipes, extra towels and tissues for easy cleanup. Offer mouthwash and even use of the shower or tub.
• Whether or not you decide to have booze, have lots of non-alcoholic drinks available so participants can stay hydrated and stick around! Also, offer lots of snacks that won’t cause halitosis. Think lots of fruit and veggies, non-stinky cheese, crackers and nuts. Charcuterie boards for the win!
• Have party favors available. Place baskets of supplies around the house filled with condoms, dental dams, disposable cock rings, and individual packets of lube.
• Protect your furniture from lube, lipstick, sweat and other fluids. Drape furniture in sheets, and make sure to have an “off-limits” room where guests can go to collect themselves if needed. Keep your fancier furniture in there.
• If you have the space for it and you’re expecting a lot of guests, designate particular rooms with visible signage for particular activities. This adds an additional layer of protection for attendees. For example, don’t enter the “spanking” room if you don’t want to get spanked, and stick to the “teasing” room if you’re only interested in kissing and caressing.
• Mood music can make or break an orgy. Don’t leave it until the last minute. Spend time curating a playlist of sexy songs that will set the mood, and put it on repeat. Plan at least five hours of music. Start slow and soft and add more pulsation to correlate with the party’s eventual climax. The Weeknd, Depeche Mode and Goldfrapp all have really erotic, sexy beats. If you have a projector, curate a lineup of softcore, tasteful porn videos to project on the wall. 
• Get down!

• After guests have arrived, give the consent speech and introduce your security crew. Give a small tour and show them where the sex rooms, the bathroom and kitchen are.
• Somebody’s gotta be the one to break the ice. As the host, maybe it’ll be you. Rather than just launching into sex, allow some time for conversation and mingling, just like a normal party. Once everyone has had a minute to acclimate, play a game like spin the bottle or a sexy dice game. A game will distract from any initial feelings of uncertainty of how to act and what to do. After a round or two of watching others get flirty, your orgy attendees will begin to relax and even become aroused.

• Not everyone will participate. No one should feel pressured to engage in activity, nor should they feel pressured to watch, be watched or even attend. The goal is to foster an atmosphere of allure and intrigue and ensure everyone has a good time.