So you're finally in bed with the object of your desire, you're both in the mood, things are going great. And then, just when things are getting good, it happens. A little too much anticipation and excitement building up suddenly erupts a bit more quickly than expected. Or perhaps you're a sensitive lover, and sex with your partner is amazing – maybe even a little too amazing – and before you've been able to bring them to climax, you've finished, and you wish you could keep going just a little bit longer to ensure their pleasure is equal to your own. This experience is incredibly normal and common; almost all men have had an experience at some point where they wish they had more staying power.
You've likely heard some old tricks to help delay ejaculation – think about baseball! Masturbate before your date! But if that doesn't always work, there are plenty of toys, tricks and tips to help you train your body to prolong your erection, suspend your reaction, sustain your interaction, and enhance your partner's sensation!
Exercises
Does it seem like Kegel exercises are the answer to all of life's problems? We think so too. Okay, not all, but they certainly help with everything sexual. Having control over your pelvic floor muscles has a wealth of benefits, but will especially help you delay climaxing. You can practice Kegels in the bathroom or in the shower by flexing and releasing the same muscle that you'd use to stop and start your urine stream. Practice this daily. Next time you're in the throes of passion, try flexing this muscle when you feel like you're getting close. This should help buy you an extra few minutes.
Another method to try during sex is stopping and starting. This is a pleasant way to "tease" yourself and your partner. Enter them, begin thrusting, and then exit. Take a break between thrust sessions to please your partner in other ways – passionately kiss them, go down on them, use your hands – to allow your body enough time to relax slightly before you go back for more. You also don't have to pull out completely; you can slow down dramatically when things are getting too hot, you can switch to shallower strokes, or you can stop completely while remaining inside and focus on teasing them in other ways.
Some doctors recommend the "squeeze" method. All you do is have sex as normal, but when you feel yourself nearing ejaculation, pull out and firmly squeeze the part of the penis where the head meets the shaft. Apply pressure for a few seconds until the urge passes, then begin again. Over time, the point is to train your body to delay ejaculating coming on its own without the squeeze.
With practice, one or a combination of all these ejaculation exercises will help you enjoy longer-lasting bedroom sessions. You can also practice this solo. Bringing yourself to the edge, then slowing down, then starting again will help you prepare to enact the same when you're with a partner. And don't forget to breathe! Focusing on your breath can momentarily distract you from how good it feels. It's like yoga!
Toys
A tried and true trick to keep your penis up and at 'em is to wear a cock ring. These rings encircle the base of the penis (depending on size, a cock ring can go behind or in front of the testicles) and essentially traps the blood in the penis so you stay hard for longer. They're available in various materials, colors, sizes and shapes, and best of all, they often also include a vibrating bullet or two. These vibrating cock rings can align directly with your partner's clitoris so they feel a delicious sensation every time they slide down your shaft. Between that added stimulation and the extra oomph you get from the ring's power, you could both be peaking at the exact same time.
You can also use male sex toys to masturbate and practice the aforementioned delay techniques. Use an Endurance Trainer to train for the real thing – use the pocket pussy until you're extremely close to climax, pull out, squeeze your head, and re-enter. The Fleshlight brand even offers a "Stamina Training Unit," which might be the most fun you'll ever have exercising. The supple, realistic Fleshlight actually counts your strokes, so you can see your progress in real time.
Stimulants and Desensitizers
Although they live in the "stimulants" category, sexual enhancement products for delaying ejaculation actually do the opposite for the user. These products work by desensitizing the penis locally ever so slightly. It'll still feel amazing; they will simply slow down your body's natural reflexes ever so slightly in the heat of the moment. Delay products can be found as a spray, a cream, a gel or an ejaculation wipe. They usually contain either an all-natural relaxing agent or a bit of topical numbing to help you stay in the game for longer.
As well as staying erect for longer and delaying orgasm, these stimulants will often contain other ingredients for added benefit. Jo's Prolonger Male Genital Desensitizing Gel contains peppermint oil, which will add a subtle tingly effect your partner will love, and it will also stimulate the penis and increasing blood flow, which will cause the tissue in the penis to swell, giving a thicker look and feel to the penis.
Ejaculation wipes are a great option if you want to stay discreet. Before lovemaking, simply slip into the bathroom, rub the wipe along the length of your member, and get ready to go. Similarly, a scentless, invisible delay spray like Stud 100 will have your partner impressed with your prowess! However, please always inform your sexual partners you're using stimulants in the rare case that they may have an allergy.
If a topical salve isn't for you, there is an array of oral supplements you can take to help increase stamina and longevity. All-natural sex supplements contain ingredients known to increase blood flow, which helps you get it up, keep it up and stay up.
If cock rings and stimulants aren't your thing, another super-effective method of delaying ejaculation and ensuring your partner comes too involves increasing foreplay time, with the focus on your partner's pleasure. The less time you spend focused on your own orgasm and the more time you spend bringing your lover to a heightened state of arousal means a blissful conclusion for you both. And if you don't get it right the first time – take a break and start again!
