Branching out into new sexual territory is a great way to liven up your sex life. Even if you consider yourself pretty tame when it comes to sex, one of the best things to do is to try out anal play and anal toys. For men, that often means playing with the prostate.
However, many men have never even genuinely considered prostate play, which means it might be uncomfortable territory for them. Whether you’ve been interested before but you’ve never taken the leap or this is your first time really considering it, this is everything you need to know about prostate play.
What Is the Prostate?
The prostate is a small gland located between the bladder and the penis. If you’re looking to stimulate it, you’re going to be rubbing the rectum in a space inside the anus and just to the front. In fact, prostate play doesn’t directly touch the prostate; it touches the rectal wall that’s situated right next to it. It’s actually necessary for ejaculation, too. The prostate is what produces semen and mixes it with sperm.
How Common Is Prostate Play?
It’s incredibly common for people to engage in prostate play -- after all, it’s very pleasurable and can be beneficial for your overall sexual life.
A recent study found that 71% of straight men in a relationship have either tried it before or would be interested in trying it in the future. 80% of women said they would be comfortable partaking in prostate massage if their male partner asked.
This is great news for you. If you’ve been worried about talking to your partner because you’re worried they’ll judge you, rest easy knowing that four out of five women in relationships would be totally happy to indulge.
Why Should I Try Prostate Play?
The first benefit, of course, is the pleasure associated with it. That’s why lots of people start trying prostate play; it’s a brand new sensation that you can indulge in. Especially if you’ve found yourself getting tired of the same basic sex acts and positions, prostate play opens you up to new sensations and orgasms that are up to 33% stronger.
Another benefit is more long-lasting. Prostate massage can actually help your sexual prowess in the long run. Many men find that regularly engaging in prostate play alleviates erectile dysfunction and allows them to maintain thicker erections. That’s because stimulating the prostate encourages blood flow to the penis, which makes it much easier for you to please your partner.
If you’ve ever heard of a prostate exam, you know the last benefit. It’s actually better for your health to regularly stimulate the prostate. Not only does prostate massage make it easier for you to have a prostate exam if it’s medically necessary, but it lessens the chance of needing one in the first place. Regular massages can help to prevent benign prostatic hyperplasia, also referred to as BPH or prostate gland enlargement, which can cause bladder issues as you age.
With all these benefits, you should be more than happy to start trying out prostate play as soon as possible.
Before You Start
You can’t just jump into prostate massage with absolutely no idea what you’re doing. Take a second to do these important things.
Buy Some Supplies
At the very least, you’re going to need a lot of lube. The anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant and anything you could possibly cook up at home will increase the risk of infection and not work as well as it needs to. A thick, slippery lube, especially one that’s advertised specifically as anal lube, is best here.
Some lubes are advertised as relaxants or analgesics. These products slightly numb the area they’re applied to, which can make it less likely that you’ll feel pain. However, use them sparingly. If you’re going slowly and carefully, you shouldn’t feel pain anyway. If you’re feeling pain, especially more than just a slight twinge, that probably means something’s wrong, and you need to be able to recognize it so you can stop and readjust.
Trim Your Nails
One of the best ways to find the prostate in the first place is to use your fingers to feel around inside the rectum. After all, they’re easy to move around, very flexible, and can be much smaller than even small prostate massagers. But before you go feeling around in there, take just a few quick precautions.
First, wash your hands. Use warm water and soap, clean under your nails, and make sure you stay lathered up for at least 30 seconds. Then, clip your nails. Snip them down fairly short and file them down if there are any sharp points afterward. This way, you don’t run the risk of introducing bacteria and you won’t accidentally hurt yourself.
Consider an Enema for Maximum Cleanliness
There’s no getting into anal play without addressing hygiene issues. Many people think of anal play as “dirty” because it’s connected to the intestines. But in fact, as long as you make sure to use the bathroom earlier in the day and clean the anus beforehand with warm water, it’s just as hygienic as any other type of sex.
If you want to make sure you’re completely clean, you might want to consider an enema. With an enema, clean water is put into the rectum, then slowly expelled. It completely cleans you out, and as an added bonus, many people find the feeling very pleasurable.
How to Start Engaging in Prostate Play
So, you have everything you need. Now it’s time to get started.
As previously mentioned, there’s no such thing as too much lube. You can put lube directly on the anus, slather it over your fingers, or both. Especially the first time, it’s a good idea to do both and use your lube generously. That way, things go perfectly smoothly.
Don’t Actually Start With the Prostate
It might surprise you to know that prostate massage actually shouldn’t just start with the prostate. Instead, you need to start with some foreplay. Similarly to how women will often explore other erogenous zones before masturbating, you should take steps to relax yourself and get comfortable with the entire area.
Massaging the perineum, which is the skin between the penis and the anus, is a great first step. This is a comfortably erogenous zone for many people, and its general proximity to both your prostate and your anus helps you get comfortable with the idea.
Find the Prostate on Your Own First
Whether you’re with a partner or you have a prostate toy you’re itching to try, don’t jump into it immediately. Gently insert your pointer finger and start feeling around toward the front. It can sometimes be an uncomfortable position to effectively maintain, so try out a variety of different positions to figure out what’s the most comfortable. Once you find it, feel around and very gently massage it using just your fingers before going in with something else.
How will you know you’ve found it? You’ll know. The feeling associated with prostate exams varies from person to person. Some people describe it as a tingling sensation, others compare it to a sustained version of the feeling you have right before ejaculation, and still others feel it as a gentle, pleasing pressure. But one thing that’s almost universal is that it’s very, very pleasurable.
A Rundown of Prostate Toys
Whether you’ve tried and now want to expand past just your fingers or you want to keep a toy on hand from the very first experience, these prostate toys can help.
If you’re not sure about using your fingers the entire time, you can also invest in a prostate massager. The most basic massagers are smooth and distinctly shaped to make it as easy as possible for you to find the prostate. Some also vibrate or have additional features, if you’re interested in taking it to the next level.
This is the perfect toy if you have a partner who wants to penetrate you. Pegging, which is where a couple uses a dildo for anal sex, is a popular option for anyone who wants to experience anal in a different way. There are some anal harnesses fitted specifically with prostate dildos, which can help you get used to the sensation.
Many anal beads can be used to stimulate the prostate, especially if you’re in a position where gravity is pulling them toward the front of your body. One of the biggest benefits of anal beads is that you’re even more thoroughly in control of where you stop. Insert as many as you feel comfortable with, and stop once you reach the most pleasant sensation.
Though most butt plugs aren’t made specifically for prostate stimulation, that’s one of their many effects. Because of the way a butt plug sits, it often indirectly stimulates the area around the prostate. It’s another good way to start getting used to anal sex; many people who use butt plugs like the “full” feeling that comes along with them.
There are lots of reasons to try prostate play, and pretty much no reason not to. It’s natural, common, pleasurable, simple, and helpful even for other types of sex. Whether you’re looking for a specific prostate massager or you just need to find the perfect lube, check HUSTLER® Hollywood for a huge variety of options.