Hair pulling is something with plenty of different sexy uses. People use it for all different reasons: to position a partner’s head, to control the person, to anchor themselves, or even just to add a different sensation to sex. If you’ve never tried this before, or you’ve tried it with limited success, you might not know what you’re missing out on. Follow this guide to make sure you’re able to at least try it out with consent from everyone around you.
1. Talk to Your Partner
As with any other kink, fetish, sex position, or general new sexual experience, you have to start with talking to your partner. Don’t introduce this as a surprise in the middle of sex. Different people have different hard and soft limits, and you definitely don’t want to learn about a partner’s limit because you accidentally overstepped it.
The good news is, it’s actually not that difficult to talk to your partner about what you’re interested in doing and why. Hair pulling is a facet of just about all porn on the planet, and it’s common enough that it would honestly be surprising if your partner hadn’t thought about it before.
Are you interested in pulling your partner’s hair? Do you want your partner to pull your hair? Put together an “ideal kink scenario” that you can explain to your partner. Then, talk about that scenario and create an even better one together.
2. Introduce Hair Pulling Gently
You don’t want to move all of a sudden from not pulling your partner’s hair to going all-out. As with any sex toy, you need to ease yourself and your partner into it. While you might need lubricant to do that with a sex toy, the good news is that hair pulling doesn’t require a single extra piece of equipment.
When you’re pulling someone’s hair, the most important thing to remember is that you aren’t trying to pull that hair out. Typically, you’ll want to thread your fingers into your partner’s hair near the scalp, then grab a huge handful of hair. This way, your partner is getting the sweet sensation of hair pulling without any of the unsexy pain associated with accidentally pulling someone’s hair out.
3. Read Your Partner’s Silent Cues
Silent cues are all-important during sex. Many people don’t have a super healthy relationship to sex, so instead of speaking up when something makes them sort of uncomfortable, they “grin and bear it” for their partner. However, if you’re adamant about looking for silent cues, you’re much more likely to realize that something’s wrong.
Obviously, these cues change depending on the individual. However, if you notice any of these signs, you may want to step back and check in with your partner to make absolutely sure you’re okay to keep going:
- Less noise than usual
- Subtle resistance
- Staring into the distance
- Delayed reactions
- Pleasure responses seem passive or uninterested
Remember, there’s no such thing as being too careful. Don’t be afraid to ask a few separate times to make sure everything’s still okay when you’re trying something new.
4. Incorporate Hair Pulling Into Your Existing Kinks
Are you already a kinky couple? Good news: hair pulling will probably come to you as naturally as sex itself. Blindfolds are a great accompaniment to add an element of suspense to the hair pulling. You may also want to try some bondage to give over even more control.
If you really want to boost your excitement, consider a gag, especially a mouth spreader or O-ring gag. Hair pulling works perfectly with oral sex through a mouth spreader gag. Many people find it immensely sexy for one person to thrust into the other person’s mouth, creating a more kinky style of oral sex. Anal toys, especially butt plugs and tail plugs, can also be a fun way to get a little kinky.
Hair pulling also works great with other sex toys that don’t technically have an exclusively BDSM bent to them. After all, there’s nothing stopping you from using your rabbit vibrator at the same time as your partner roughhouses with you a bit.
5. Adapt Based on Whatever Happens
Some people don’t try out new kinky options because they’re worried about discovering that they don’t actually like it. In fact, this is the only real way to decide whether or not you do like something. Don’t keep yourself indebted to the idea of hair pulling. If you and your partner decide it’s not really what you’re interested in, move on to another one of your HUSTLER® Hollywood toys for another great type of sex.
