Having Sex While Pregnant

Congratulations on your pregnancy! In the midst of preparing your home and your life for a new arrival, it’s especially vital to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and yes, even sexually during this exciting time. As your hormones surge and body changes, your sex drive may increase or decrease. Any combination of new sensations and desires is normal – just talk to your doctor and indulge yourself in whatever feels good.

What is it like to have sex while pregnant?

Throughout your pregnancy, you may experience abrupt and drastic swings in your libido. Many people report that during certain trimesters, they’re extremely ready for sex and less so in others. Your body is changing, and as such, your physical and emotional comfort in your skin may also influence how likely you are to get in the mood. You might experience fluctuations in your self-esteem as you grow accustomed to yourself. Your emotional state greatly influences how libidinous you come (which is true whether you’re pregnant or not), so pay attention to your feelings and be kind to yourself. 

During pregnancy, your blood volume increases, which can make your erogenous zones extremely sensitive. This can go either way depending on the individual – you may experience the best orgasms of your life with a mere brush of your breasts or genitals; conversely, you may become too sensitive, and touching these areas may feel too intense. You might also just not feel sexual – you may feel tired, nauseated, and uncomfortable, and that’s okay too. Don’t expect to continue your pre-pregnancy sexual habits as usual. Expect a learning curve, and be patient and gentle as you get used to exploring your body.

If you have a partner, making space in your relationship to maintain a sense of intimacy with them, both physically and mentally, can help foster an overall sense of well-being in your relationship and as an individual. Taking time to talk about your feelings and the newfound experience of expecting a baby can bring the two of you closer together. Guiding your partner to touch you and try new pleasurable sensations can be a wonderful, sensual experience to share. 

If you aren’t partnered, it’s still important to create moments of intimacy with yourself! Dedicate time to self-care and sensuality. Take a bubble bath, caress your skin, and rub your breasts, your belly, your feet. Masturbation can be a great tool to relieve some of the less awesome side effects that come with pregnancy, like nausea and back pain. And don’t forget the major stress relief and release that an orgasm can bring about. A healthy, balanced sex life can make you feel relaxed, tranquil, and calm, which can only be a good thing for your health, pregnant or not!

How can I have safe sex while pregnant?

Unless your doctor has advised you otherwise, it’s normal and natural to have sex while pregnant. If your pregnancy is considered “high-risk,” please talk to your doctor about engaging in sexual activity throughout the duration of your pregnancy. Your doctor should clarify whether or not that includes other types of sexual activity outside of penetration. When in doubt about a particular practice or activity, ask your doctor to ensure you’re not having unsafe sex during pregnancy. Don’t be shy – they’ve most likely heard it all!

To truly guarantee safe sex while pregnant, take all precautions as you would before, during, and after any regular sexual activity. If you’re non-monogamous, wear a condom to prevent transmission of sexual infections. Practicing sexual hygiene is especially paramount – clean all sex toys before and after use, and never use a toy on more than one orifice without cleaning in between. And if you have oral sex, ask your partner to take care not to blow air into your vagina. It sounds silly, but it can cause an embolism or an air bubble that blocks a blood vessel, which can be dangerous. 
If penis-in-vagina intercourse isn’t a possibility, you can still nurture a sense of sexual and emotional intimacy with your partner, even without penetration. You and your partner can take turns giving each other sensual massages. Get a sexy book and read out loud to one another. If your doctor says having a non-penetrative orgasm is okay, use sex toys together. Take turns talking about your fantasies and new feelings.

What does the fetus feel during sex?

Throughout a normal pregnancy, your fetus will be totally fine if you have sex. The fetus lives and grows inside the uterus. It’s protected by muscular walls, amniotic fluid, mucus plug, cervix and other tissues. If your partner has a penis, no matter the size, it will only penetrate the vagina. It will not enter the uterus. During sex, the fetus may sense changes in position or motion, as they would if you were exercising or dancing. Your biology ensures that the baby is well-protected physically. Your baby is also neurologically incapable of conscious awareness that you’re having sex. It won’t be touched, “poked,” hurt or mentally distressed. Similarly, if your doctor deems penetration and sexual activity okay, the fetus will be fine if you use a vibrator or dildo.

If you have an orgasm, your baby might feel a slight squeeze (like a hug!) as your pelvic muscles contract. This is different from labor contractions and will not cause you to go into labor during a normal pregnancy. If in doubt, ask your doctor, but under normal circumstances, your baby will be happier if you are!

What are the best sex positions during pregnancy?

At the beginning of your pregnancy, many of your favorite positions will still be possible, but as your baby grows, you may feel the need to experiment to relieve pressure and adapt to your changing body. Throughout the duration of your pregnancy, different positions may become more or less uncomfortable as your belly grows.

You and your partner may find side-by-side or “spooning” sexual positions more comfortable and pleasurable. While you lie on your side, your partner can lie behind you and wrap you in their arms while entering you from behind. This angle enables your partner to easily reach your clitoris and nipples with their hands for extra stimulation, and lying on the side can relieve pressure from your joints, which may be sore from adjusting to carrying extra weight.

Doggy-style is a terrific position as your belly is out of the way and free to hang; however, it may grow to be uncomfortable by the third trimester if a penis or toy penetrates too deeply and hits the cervix. A fun alternative to doggy-style is a non-penetrative stance in which you’re still on your hands and knees while your partner embraces you from behind and uses a finger vibe to stimulate your clitoris. Or while you’re still on your hands and knees, your partner can slide underneath to please you with their mouth and tongue. You can also sixty-nine to reciprocate oral pleasure to your partner!

A reverse cowgirl or cowgirl position, or any variation with you on top, will allow you to better control the pace, depth and angle of penetration. This can be achieved in bed, on the ground, or even in an easy chair so you can use the arms for additional leverage. You can always incorporate sex furniture to help support your weight. Liberator’s Jaz Motion can aid in elevating your hips, diminishing pressure on your hands and knees, or supporting your neck to make various positions that much more comfortable (and enjoyable). And if you’re flying solo, you can use a lay-on vibrator that rests upon your clit, leaving your hands free to roam. You can sit in a chair or relax in a bath with a waterproof toy. 

As you spend these nine months getting ready for parenthood, make sure to take some time for yourself. Maintaining healthy sexual habits now will help you continue prioritizing your sex life even after the baby is born. Take care of yourself, stay healthy, and have some good sex!